well basically i am lost in this point in my life...19 with nothing to show for and i have no idea what to do. I view life as a game and see that everyone and everything exist for me to learn from...or so this is my mind state...ummmmmm what else? I have a problem being able to tell reality from fantasy, I've officially lost my mind but its more of a sweet slip into controlled insanity...lol...sounds like a confessional i know buuuuuuuuut bear with me. Life has had an abrupt clash with me causing an uncontrollable pandemonium....Life is too real and i find more comfort and solace in the corridors of my mind and that worries me...I am lost and am in search of finding...lol
the soundtrack to my life is of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, 1st movement and everything seems to stand still while rushing a million miles per second and every single thought of mine ravishes the image of me in my mind...Faced with so many decisions I am lost....I know who i am but am at a loss for words as to how to describe myself, my ideals, morals and overall being....lol..i feel my life slippin from underneath me and in some macabre way welcome it if it promises to be a change of pace...Trying to find my niche in this life has found itself to be very trying and tiring and i often find myself wishing i was never conceived, but alas the hands of time are unmerciful...if i could start again.....i wouldn't though...lol...and this puzzles me...I wonder why "GOD" has given me this mind and life that troubles me so. I see others my age and they seem so happy and carefree...The remembrance of youth is a sigh...Mi vida esta muerta, y no se que acer...take these words as you like and if anything.... see them as the rantings of a lost youth.